Shopping Embarrassment

I just got back from shopping and oh my gawsh! i tell you how my belly has had constant sounds coming from it that sound like they're from another universe! non stop gurgling, growling, rumbling...they've been going on for hours now! you can hear them, right? i mean, they are so loud! i'm not even hungry! and my stomach isn't upset, either. what? you want to see my bare belly? i had a feeling you liked when my belly started acted up like this. it is so loud that i had everyone staring at me in stores! i know it looks bloated, but i'm not gassy! the looks on peoples faces were priceless. i invite you to lay your head on my belly, explaining how the left side is the loudest and bassiest. i love feeling the vibrations of the sounds coming from inside. it's a bit of an erotic feeling for me. the noises are just coming naturally at this point. you request that i start trying to make my belly make more noises, but, the more i try, the less noise it makes. i roll my belly, push it in and out really hard, but the noises just aren't as loud. some things are better left alone to do their own thing, right?!