Pantsing the Loser

I know you, don't i? i recognize you, oh! i remember who you are, you're the guy i used to bully in school. you were the one i pansted in front of all of those people and then you got this nickname - captain underpants! do you remember the first time i pantsed you? of course you do! you were in front of the bleachers with the whole school there and i saw how nerdy you looked and i thought it would be hilarious! it might not have been so funny if you hadn't been wearing those tighty whities! no one your age still wears those. i think you were pretty shocked because you didn't pull your pants up right away, you left them down so everyone got a good look at them. they kept calling you that name forever. you were so humiliated, but you didn't learn your lesson. you kept wearing those undies, i managed to pants you in the cafeteria, the time in class during your presentation, when handing out papers, when in the hallway at your locker. man, i got you everywhere! it is kind of funny to look back on it now, but you obviously don't still wear tighty whities, right? what grown man would still wear those? it would be pretty funny if i pantsed you and you were still wearing those. i would never do that! but i never promised my friend wouldn't do it! oh my god! you're still wearing them! you're still a dorky little nerd that hasn't learned his lesson! now you'll never shake that nickname - captain underpants.