your Financial Advisor FUCKS you over

You've come in seeking guidance on curating a long term plan for your finances. i am a certified, licensed financial advisor so you have decided to take the leap and finally set up a meeting with me to get the ball rolling. first thing you notice upon arrival is my incredibly stunning blazer-dress and how perfect my breasts sit behind the cotton lining. *focus, focus* as i review several transactions throughout the documentation you've brought in that i requested..i notice a few suspicious items. i mean it's a wonder how no one has called you out on it yet. not thinking too much into it, i move on to the next topic. however, as the conversation progresses and your desperate tendencies start to surface.. the tables take a nice little turn... you thought you were coming in for financial advice... more like financial control. by the end of this you will certainly be leaving with the best financial plan for your future.