ThAt'S sO RaCiSt!!

I'm just chillin at home drinking a beer waiting for nascar to start when i hear a knock on my door.  i'm not expecting anybody, who would be dumb enough to drop by unexpected on nascar night?! i open the door and can't believe what i see. its a young black man wearing a button down white shirt, dress pants and a pair of monkeyears.  he tells me he is canvasing for blm and i crack up laughing. he must have missed the rebel flag, the trump flag and my 2a sign in front of my house. oh man is this boy dumb as they come. i invite him to come inside. being that his black head is empty, completely devoid of any thoughts except for those of watermelon and fried chicken, he agrees and takes a seat next to me. i look down and this fool isn't wearing any shoes and that's when it hits me! he isn't canvasing for blm at all, this is the neighbor's runaway slave. so, i do my civic duty and grab my shackles and rope, i'm gonna hogtie this black boy to my bench and teach him about running away from his massa while i wait to collect the reward.  he's cute though, and young, and dumb as fuck. instead of turning him over, i decide to have some fun with him. he makes a good ridey-thing and he sure can take a beatin'. i redden that black ass with my belt and spit some truths about black folk and what they mean to civilized people but, the lights are on with this one and nobody's home. he just keeps saying "blm" and staring at my titties.  i light his ass up. i'm having a good time! then... another knock at the door! it must be nigachristmas. not just one lost slave but two! this is the best nascar day ever!  it's not another slave though, it's the stupid asshole from the solar company coming to do my free estimate. but it's too late, i already told him to come in. he looks at me, riding this strung up boy like a black bronco and says....  wait for it. what do all the lilly livered liberals say? thats so racist! i'm not even trying to deal with a liberal on nascar day so i tell him to get the fuck out of my house and take this sillynig with him. aint nobody got time for that.